Saturday, April 30, 2011

What Trip Home?


I was in Las Vegas and headed for the airport when I dropped two Ativan pills. I figured that was the right amount. By the time I boarded the plane I was a little woozy. My mom and I bought some horrid sandwiches and pop and had lunch, but as I ate I got sleepier. I took out a crossword puzzle and promptly fell asleep with my head laying on the food tray. The stewards came along with forms to fill out for customs. I held one in my hand and was reading it as I fell asleep sitting straight up.  My mom kept shaking me and telling me to fill it out, but I couldn't seem to do it.

I was staring at the one side of the paper for a loooong time when my mom whispered shrilly in my ear, "That's the French side!" She turned it around to English and said,  "Wake up and fill it out."  To me it didn't matter if it was in Swahili, I just couldn't figure it out.  My mom grabbed it and filled it out for me. I put my head down on the tray and slept all the way home.  I must say it was the most pleasant trip I have ever had on a plane. I'm not sure what people thought about me sleeping on the tray, but no one said anything.

After we landed, a woman from the airline was pushing my mom in a wheelchair to get our luggage. I stood by the carousel and tried to find ours, but for some reason they all looked alike. I grabbed two and brought them to my mom. 

The airline lady looked at me and asked, "Are these your cases?" 
I looked at them carefully, "I think so." I answered.
She looked at the tags, "Is your name Barkley?"
"No."
"Is your name Carpenter?"
"No."
So this time she went with me as I bleerily scanned the dozens of suitcases. Luckily, my daughter had lent me her purple one.
"There it is! I said.  So we got the right cases and off we went.

My daughter is a nurse. When I told her what happened she said, "Two Ativan is very strong."  Well, I found that out the hard way, but I have to say that for me it was the best flight I have ever been on. And the fastest.