Onions in the Living Room

I live in a house with 4 adults and 4 kids (teenagers now). We get every cold and flu that comes into town. The kids bring it home from school, the adults bring it home from work. I am the only one who is blameless in the whole mess because I stay at home most of the time. This makes me a victim of their collective recklessness.

I used to get the flu shot every year until my daughter, (who is a nurse), told me they also inject the DNA of chickens into your arm along with the anti-flu stuff. But after two years of getting the flu (swine flu included) I have decided to get the shot this year in spite of all her warnings. If I start morphing into Foghorn Leghorn and clucking while cooking dinner, then I'll know not to do it again.

Anyway, my sister-in-law sent me an e-mail about how to ward off colds and flues. You peel some onions, put them in a bowl and set them out in the living room or kitchen. The onions have some kind of super power that fights off germs.

Hey, after the swine flue I'll try anything, so I peeled the onions, put them in a pretty bowl next to my chess set from Peru. (No, I haven't been to Peru, I got it at a garage sale for $8 - what a deal! One side is the Aztecs and the other is the Spanish. I don't know about you, but I would always want to play with the Aztec side. If the Aztecs win they cut your heart out and throw you down some pyramid. If the Spanish win they just kill you with a sword. But I digress.)

My husband noticed the onions right away since he has a sensitive nose. I told him to just ignore it and be thankful we wouldn't be getting sick this winter. Now every day when I walk past the onions I say to them in an authoritative voice, "Do your thing." And they better do it or they are going into the next hamburger loaf.